3 Tips For Handling Radically Different Parenting Styles During A Divorce

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3 Tips For Handling Radically Different Parenting Styles During A Divorce

25 April 2017
 Categories: Law, Blog

Fights over parenting styles are commonly cited as being a dividing wedge between couples. Severe fights over how to raise the children that can even lead to divorce in some extreme cases. However, those differences won't automatically stop when divorce proceedings begin.

If you suspect that your ex may be abusive in any way to your children, report any imminent danger to the authorities. Also talk to your divorce lawyer immediately. On the other hand, if you and your soon-to-be ex simply have radically different parenting styles, here are some tips for handling this complex problem during a divorce.

Tip #1: Set Clear Boundaries and Hold One Another Accountable for Them

Be willing to compromise with your spouse to set boundaries and guidelines about your differing parenting styles. For example, if you are strongly opposed to any sort of physical discipline, you may request that your ex draw the line and agree to never even spank the kids. However, you may agree to other methods of discipline that you don't hate as much but still wouldn't prefer. You may agree to grounding or other methods that will please you both in a middle ground.

Tip #2: Accept That Your Children Will Have Two Different Household Experiences

If you are a strict disciplinarian, you may find that you resent the fact that your soon-to-be ex will be providing your kids with a whole separate household that won't have the same rules enforced. The same may be true if the situation is reversed, and you'd prefer things to be more relaxed in both households. It can be hard to acknowledge that you have little control over what your kids experience while staying with your ex, but it's important to accept that it may be completely different than what you will be providing for your children.

Tip #3: Establish Regular, Polite, and Engaged Communication with Your Soon-to-Be Ex

You don't have to just sit back and pretend you are not a parent on the weekends when your ex has custody. It's okay to ask to be included in some ways through phone calls or even email updates. As part of the regular communication, you may bring up the differences in parenting styles. When you have established a certain level of trust in your post-divorce relationship, you can find that you can ask for certain things in the co-parenting relationship and make requests based on your own parenting style.

Finally, keep in mind that it's possible to parent in harmony no matter what your past issues may be. When you talk to your former partner in a respectful way and send a clear message that you simply want what is best for the kids, you are setting the scene for a peaceful way of resolving conflict. You can work out the differences in parenting styles so that your children get the maximum benefit from the best you both have to offer. 

If you continue to struggle, reach out to a professional divorce lawyer, such as those at the Law Offices of Kent Bulloch, as they may be able to offer some advice and resources to help you.

About Me
teenage mistakes that could ruin adult careers

My son has had the goal of becoming an attorney since he was about 14 years old. Unfortunately, he made a very poor decision with a group of friends when he was 16 that put his future plans in jeopardy. When my son told me what had happened and we received the citation, I knew that we had to hire an attorney to help him through this. I could not see how a small incident such as this should hurt his chances for success when he is an adult. Thankfully, things worked out for us, but it was a long journey which you can follow on our blog.